well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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