so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
