Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
