ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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