jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
