Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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