Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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