Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
