Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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