I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
