Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
whose parrot is this?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Randomize
