Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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