My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
We got so high we made milksteak
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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