your room smells of hookers.
And success
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
