Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Someone shit on the floor
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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