my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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