the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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