Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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