It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
