About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
