Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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