Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
