So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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