why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
