yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
