I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
