Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
