she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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