Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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