Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
