yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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