omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
