So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
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