i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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