Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
