respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
