I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
