Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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