There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
