I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
