I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Randomize
