physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
