He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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