eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
