I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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