i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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