so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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