after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
