is your mom at the bar?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
