the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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