This girl is more easily done than said...
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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