i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
