Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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