The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
organizing the empties. That sober.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
