my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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