She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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