I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
