Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Randomize
