Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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