okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
