there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
