i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
After last night, I could never be a politician.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
