But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
