At least make sure they are 18
Why
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
please don't ironically join a cult
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